The Mother, The Child, The Sacrifice
by Lunar Siren
Summary: The news of Bella's death devastated the Cullens, but Bella isn't the only one to jump from a cliff. What if hearing about Bella's suicide triggered Esme's human memories? How did she handle the news? One-shot.


**Stephenie Meyer owns the _Twilight Saga_; no copyright infringement intended.**

**I apologize for how rushed this seems, I wrote it on no sleep, but I liked it anyway.  
I never imagined Esme could have any kind of break down but then thought of how she might  
have a "flash back" when she heard Bella jumped. The wound must have still been raw for such a strong reaction.  
Please leave your opinions.  
Emotional Esme, or no?**

++-++-++

"Rosalie, have you seen Alice?" Esme asked. "The house has been awfully quiet."

The blond shifted uncomfortably on the sofa in the living room, trying to hide the motion by reaching for a magazine. She knew where Alice was, only because she overheard the muffled sobs as she tried to steal Carlisle's Mercedes unnoticed. She'd had to fight the smaller vampire to understand what was bothering her. When she finally spit out the truth it was like music to her ears.

"Bella threw herself off a cliff and disappeared," Alice had said. "I'm going back to Forks to help Charlie with . . . arrangements."

Rosalie couldn't help the small giggles as they bubbled up her throat. The girl was dead? It certainly didn't take very long! Poor little Bella. She loved Edward so much she couldn't live without him. She was weak. Good riddance!

Emmett had caught her laughing in the driveway like a mad woman; he wanted to know what kind of trick she'd pulled, but when she explained what Alice saw, he immediately lost his smile. His wife tried to convince him of the treat it was, yet it was one of those rare times when he had to put his blind devotion on the backburner and wonder why she was so cruel to humans. He'd tried explaining that he didn't mind they couldn't have children, he'd even suggested adoption or a job at a daycare where she could play with children all day. She had no reason to envy humans; she was the most beautiful goddess to ever walk the earth, and he made sure she knew it day after day. But laughing at a family member's death? He couldn't handle that.

He ignored Rosalie the rest of the day.

Now Esme wanted to know what happened to the ever energetic Alice, who was talking about an all day shopping trip in Anchorage with the Denali coven that morning. After Emmett's reaction, Rose wasn't sure what to say to Esme. She saw that human as one of her daughters, she wouldn't enjoy Rose's cackling. But Emmett, who sat in the armchair instead of cuddling with his wife, would know how to put it delicately. He was good at being everything Rose wasn't; he was literally her other half.

She gave him a pointed, questioning look and he sighed deeply. He didn't want to be the one to break the news. The family was already broken up. Carlisle drowned himself in work, Jasper secluded himself to the room where he and Alice stayed—heck, no one had heard anything from Edward in months, and now Emmett and Rose were on entirely different pages. They weren't feuding, but he was disappointed in her lack of compassion although he knew she had plenty to spare. Esme was the only one who would visit with their hosts. They were staying with the succubus sisters and their mates, old family friends, yet they barely recognized the forlorn Cullen clan when they appeared.

Only Alice had tried to raise their spirits and now she was gone, and Jasper didn't even know it. She disappeared when Eleazar took him out to hunt; he was so secluded in his mind he didn't even notice she was missing, which was strange to everyone. Emmett didn't know any couple more in tune than Alice and Jasper.

"Rose? Emmett?" Esme was using her motherly voice. She expected an answer. Rosalie kept her mouth shut, shrugging the duty onto Emmett.

Fine. If he had to do it, he would. Esme had a right to know.

He watched the young matriarch approach and stood with a fake smile. "Would it count if I told you she went to a party?"

Esme's face clouded with confusion. "No, it wouldn't. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you, Emmett?"

His discomfort shown through and he motioned to the chair he vacated. "Why don't you sit down, Mom? This might come as a shock."

She knew something was wrong. Emmett called her 'mom,' not by her name, not 'ma.' The only thing that would worry her more was if he said 'mother.' Esme sat in the plush, overstuffed armchair, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"It's not about her human life, is it?" she asked gently. "She knows we will support her no matter what."

"It's not that." Emmett scratched the back of his neck. How could he say it? "Alice is. . . . She went to Forks."

Esme stared, not understanding the problem. "This is what's been hanging over your head? It's okay, we just won't tell—"

"For a funeral."

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, you're making no sense. Go ahead and tell me. This old woman can handle it, I assure you."

He took a deep breath out of habit. "Alice had a vision of Bella jumping off a cliff when she disappeared, so Alice went to Forks to help Charlie through his grieving," he finished in a rush.

Esme went very still. She heard every word yet couldn't comprehend them. Bella . . . did what? No, her ears were playing tricks on her. Perhaps she was older than she thought. A tidal wave of frazzled emotions entered the room before a disheveled-looking Jasper. His tawny eyes were wild with his confusion, his fingers leaving imprints on the doorframe.

"What did you say, Emmett? Repeat that," he demanded.

Emmett did.

Jasper swore and leaned heavily against the wall, and it finally sank in for Esme. Her hand came up to stifle her cries. How could such a thing happen? Bella was stronger than that.

Suddenly the warm living room was replaced with a breezy cliff. Esme could see the sharp rocks at the bottom, waiting for her to finish her game of will-I-won't-I. Waiting to finally embrace her.

"Mom?" Emmett shook her back into the present, away from those nightmares.

She jumped out of the chair muttering a weak "Excuse me" and hurried to the kitchen. Her trembling hands could barely punch in numbers on the telephone, and briefly she saw her fingers working the face of the phone in a circle as she dialed. She blinked and it disappeared. After her second try she had Carlisle's cell phone, which he answered on the third ring.

"Esme?" he asked, clearly surprised. She hardly called him at work, always busy talking decorations with Kate or playing chess with Tanya.

"Can you come home, just for a little while?" she whimpered.

She heard his chair fall over, a door opening, and telling a coworker there was a family emergency as he dashed through the halls. "What's wrong Esme?"

"I don't know. I heard the news and . . . I know how she felt."

"Who?"

She shook her head, jostling the screams and cries living there, back in the recesses of her mind. "Just come home." She hung up the phone knowing he would arrive shortly. She tried to compose herself long enough to pass by her children yet felt herself tearing at the seams with each step. The walk through the living was replaced by the flat valley she traveled so many years before, the stairs took on the image of the rocky hill, her hair tousled by invisible wind.

When Esme was behind her closed door, all the memories she repressed flooded her brain. She'd had this happen before, when she was barely ten days old in this new life. Edward made a motion she mistook for a violent gesture; he was only going to brush the hair from her eyes but she was still frightened of men. She thought he would strike her. Hearing about Bella . . . it was a different type of trigger.

It wasn't Charles that sent her off that cliff, it was her baby. Oh that beautiful bundle of softness and smiles. She was proud of herself for getting him away from Charles; if he had ever known his son, there was no chance he would have a normal upbringing. She wanted a happy life for her baby.

When he passed, Esme knew she couldn't go back to the life she'd had. Her time away from Charles had shown her the amazing feeling of freedom, but without her child she had nothing to live for. She had toyed with the idea of suicide, but how? All of it seemed so painful, yet the relief afterward would take it all away.

She wanted it all to go away.

A sure weight pressed against her forehead, the familiar smell of her mate surrounding her, and she opened her eyes to find Carlisle's beautiful topaz eyes. They were filled with the news.

"Oh Esme," he whispered, bringing his arms around her.

She clung to him, just like she used to when the memories happened so long ago. "Why would she do it? She was such a beautiful child; she had everything to live for."

"I know, but she couldn't continue without him. I warned him that something like this could happen. He wouldn't listen."

"It wasn't the right way. Edward should have never let her go. He was so happy—what happened with Jasper was merely an accident!"

"Esme, you know Edward. He overreacts and analyzes every small detail. It wasn't an accident to him, it was the evidence he'd been looking for. He thought he was living in denial, that although something could happen to Bella, nothing would. He was strong enough to protect her."

"He did protect her."

Carlisle kissed her hair. "He didn't see it that way. He pushed her into the glass; he hurt her, that's all he saw."

"He overreacted, but she was okay."

"I know, I know," Carlisle cooed. He rocked her gently as she continued her dry sobs. Bella's loss would haunt their family for years, possibly ages. Everyone was so taken with her—her kindness, her selflessness. She made Edward happy, and that alone was reason to love her.

There was a moment of silence where Esme took calming, cleansing breaths, all the terrible memories returning to the mental safe where they belonged, before Jasper knocked on their door; she knew who it was by the strength of the noise, he was never very loud. And because Emmett's voice was picking up from downstairs.

"Why did you do that?" he yelled . . . at Rosalie?

"He has the right to know, Emmett!" she defended.

Jasper stuck his head in the door looking drained as ever. "Rosalie called Edward and told him the news. Call me crazy, but some of Alice's foresight has rubbed off on me, and I predict he's going to do something completely irrational."

Esme looked up into the eyes of her husband. His sad eyes turned to desolation knowing what would happen next. Edward could believe whatever he wanted about his soul, he would do whatever it took to get to Bella.

He would also make the sacrifice. He would follow his mate into the afterlife.


End file.
